Chronicles of COVID-19

Title

A Mammy from Cork

Contributor

A Mammy from Cork

Subject

COVID-19 (Disease)

Coverage

Ireland; Cork; 2020s:

Date

10 April 2020

Language

English

Creator

Cork Folklore Project

Rights

Cork Folklore Project

Description

GENERAL PHYSICAL LOCATION RIGHT NOW

I live in the South Parish area of Cork City

USUAL LOCATION

Same

Q. 1 STAGES

At the start it sounded like some of the other viruses like MERS or SARS that had happened over the last few years. A distant city, a place I didn’t know anyone having a crisis. We are bombarded everyday through the media so you become desensitised to it. Then there was a spread - more cities - more countries - all far away. I think it was only with the wave that hit Italy that it came crashing down into my consciousness fully. I knew what was coming. I use twitter and follow a lot of respected scientist and journalists. It seemed like Twitter folk were miles ahead of the curve of understanding compared to people on Facebook and other services. I knew the closures of schools was imminent and yet it came as surprise to many. I knew we wouldn't be reopening them and I knew we would be stepping up to tighter and tighter restrictions in our efforts to "flatten the curve". At times I felt like I was the "negative nellie" to peoples "ah sure it’s just two weeks". I noticed other parents trying to fill each day with crafts and activities. Whilst I didn't say anything, I worried for them burning out. This was a marathon not a sprint.

Q. 2 EVERYDAY ROUTINE

I was ill with a virus and was waiting on testing when the schools closed on that Thursday. We had kept my little girl home from preschool and my partner worked from home from the Monday of that week. I have not left the house in over a month as a result. I am classed as ""extremely medically vulnerable"" due to a condition I have and the medical treatment I am under. I have been asked to cocoon. This means I spend, what could be months, alone in a room in my house away from family. I am to use a separate bathroom, not use the kitchen at the same time as others, to maintain up to 2 metres distance from them at all times. I am still nursing my 8 month old. I have a 4 year old little girl. I suffer with Fatigue (with a capital F) so need help from my partner to care for them. So I either isolate myself from them my partner moves out and isolates himself from us - or a third option - we all cocoon. I, like other people in my situation, have chosen the third option. This means none of us leave the house, even to exercise. I miss walking. I miss my city. I miss the trees. I miss the friendly faces and random conversations with people. I miss Cork City whilst living right in the centre of it.
We are in a "new normal". Before this started my little girl came to us and said "Mammy, you know walking or driving to the shop is not an adventure". She was totally onto us and now could not be pawned off with "going to the shops" is an adventure. Now she asks about "house adventures" and "garden adventures". We have learned about her new imaginary enemies "the skinnywigs". They live in the garden, a white like bindweed roots and are a mixture of a chicken come worm. They are stuff of nightmares! Her other imaginary friend "Small Amanda" still makes an appearance as do the ghosts that live in the tree.
We spend our days just "breathing in and out" and by that I mean surviving. Success is measured by meltdowns and the frequency and it’s not just the children having them. My partner is working from home. I never felt the day drag as badly when my girl had preschool to go to and I had things to look forward to in the evening. My partner is using his holidays to give us a 4 day week and 3 day week end. Every Thursday we delight that it is "Holidays" tomorrow. "

Q. 3 GROUPS

There are many of us in the grey area. Cocooning is aimed at people who can isolate in their own homes - not people like me who also need to care for members of our own families who could inadvertently bring home a virus that could kills us. Our voices are not heard. Twitter has been a lifeline for me to reach out to people who are on similar paths to me. I have reached out and connected to cancer patient advocates. We share similar challenges. Some of what we face could mean life or death. It sounds dramatic and others don't take our concerns seriously.

Q. 4 WAYS WE TALK

"New normal"
"Cocooning"
"Extremely medically vulnerable"
“Social Distancing"
"Flattening the curve"
"Did Carol Baskin kill her husband"
I don’t leave the house so all my interactions are online or on the phone. I surround myself as best as I can with supportive, kind people. On twitter I mute unkindness. I try to find things that make me laugh. I follow a woman I knew as a child who co-wrote "Oh my god what a complete Aisling". She posted about our amazing drama group in the 90s - the memories and songs came flooding back. I try to find the joy and fun in these places.
I have been using zoom for some face to face zoom meetings for groups I volunteer with. I couldn’t believe how much my spirit was lifted when I had my first one. It’s amazing to think a few months ago I would never have saw myself pining for an online committee meeting!

Q. 5 COMMUNITY RESPONSE

No Response.

Q. 6 THOUGHTS AND PREOCCUPATIONS

No Response.

Q. 7 SIMILARITY TO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE

No Response.

Q. 8 CHALLENGES AND COPING

No Response.

Q. 9 THE FUTURE

hope people will place more value on what parents do. We are all that man, Professor Robert Kelly, now. That man whose little girl, son and wife made an appearance on live television while he was interviewed. My partner works for a big multinational. Now during zoom meetings there is often a smaller child's head in the screen beside many of his co-workers. This is not only tolerated but accepted as normal in their work practises now. But it was completely unacceptable before. I know this will change back again once childcare becomes available again but for now it is quite lovely to see. (On a side note my little girl had remarked to her dad "When are women going to talk daddy?")

Q. 10 IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT SPRINGS TO MIND?

No Response.

Q. 11 IN A NUTSHELL

No Response.

age

36-50

gender

Female