Chronicles of COVID-19

Title

A working 50 something mother living in Cork

Contributor

A working 50 something mother living in Cork

Subject

COVID-19 (Disease)

Coverage

Ireland; Cork; 2020s:

Date

20 April 2020

Language

English

Creator

Cork Folklore Project

Rights

Cork Folklore Project

Description

GENERAL PHYSICAL LOCATION RIGHT NOW
Blackrock, Cork

Q. 1 STAGES

I continue to be in a state of disbelief as to how the world has effectively shut down and how society already has been impacted. A few weeks prior to Covid-19 in a visit to see my (Cork born) mother currently living in Dublin and having some awareness of the virus in China, I remember saying to her that the world would eventually be hit by a pandemic that it would not recover from and with that and the environmental crisis facing us that the future of the world and society would be threatened - however I was very quick to say that this would not be our experience but instead would impact future generations. Yet just a few weeks later what we discussed as not being in our lifetime had come into our daily lives. During this conversation my mother told me that her father spoke about the Spanish flu and how walking down the street in Cork he saw people drop down and die in front of his eyes.

Q. 2 EVERYDAY ROUTINE

Every aspect of my daily life has been impacted - With 5 at home - I feel gratitude that we are all together and well. Three of us are working and continuing to work - although this has its challenges to find suitable work space. My son is in final year in college and this isn't easy - he is losing out on all those wonderful 'leaving college' experiences - I ask him does he remember his final lecture where there were others in the lecture hall. My daughter in 5th year is finding it easy to do school work - she doesn't enjoy going to school. I wonder how I am going to get her back going to physical school - or when that might happen. I wonder how it might be going back to work. What will it look like? I have found the importance however of having a routine - a short walk before starting work, sticking to the 9-5 work schedule - making sure I don't look at work at non work times is hard when my work base is at home. I miss my routine of driving to work and walking around Cork city and having a coffee before work. I miss bumping into people and having discussions about normal things - every conversation now starts and ends with Covid. I have started making contact with colleagues just to check in for a virtual coffee and to see how colleagues are. Two birthdays were celebrated in this house in March. I was so saddened to see my 24-year-old son the night of his birthday with his can of beer virtually partying with his friends via his phone in our kitchen. My husband also celebrated his birthday - because we have two birthdays within days of each other - we'd normally go out for a joint birthday dinner with my uncle (based in SMA Blackrock). This didn't happen. We haven't seen my uncle since early March - I'm sad about that too as we would usually enjoy Sunday dinner with him every 2nd week. To keep him and the other residents safe - many of whom would be elderly - we're keeping our distance. With the restrictions, we have to make the best of things and keep intact as a family unit. This isn't easy - on our good days we can spend nearly two hours chatting after dinner - on our more difficult days - we retreat into our own spaces - at home and in our heads. I feel gratitude that we are fairly well functioning family unit and that some relationships have improved within the family during this time. I think a lot about how it must be really hard in other families - I feel gratitude too that my mother and mother in law are safe at home and not in nursing homes. I would always have felt in the past that when I am older that I would be ok going to a nursing home - but my opinion now on that has completely changed. I cannot imagine the worry that others have with relatives living in institutions.

Q. 2 EVERYDAY ROUTINE

Every aspect of my daily life has been impacted - With 5 at home - I feel gratitude that we are all together and well. Three of us are working and continuing to work - although this has its challenges to find suitable work space. My son is in final year in college and this isn't easy - he is losing out on all those wonderful 'leaving college' experiences - I ask him does he remember his final lecture where there were others in the lecture hall. My daughter in 5th year is finding it easy to do school work - she doesn't enjoy going to school. I wonder how I am going to get her back going to physical school - or when that might happen. I wonder how it might be going back to work. What will it look like? I have found the importance however of having a routine - a short walk before starting work, sticking to the 9-5 work schedule - making sure I don't look at work at non-work times is hard when my work base is at home. I miss my routine of driving to work and walking around Cork city and having a coffee before work. I miss bumping into people and having discussions about normal things - every conversation now starts and ends with Covid. I have started making contact with colleagues just to check in for a virtual coffee and to see how colleagues are. Two birthdays were celebrated in this house in March. I was so saddened to see my 24-year-old son the night of his birthday with his can of beer virtually partying with his friends via his phone in our kitchen. My husband also celebrated his birthday - because we have two birthdays within days of each other - we'd normally go out for a joint birthday dinner with my uncle (based in SMA Blackrock). This didn't happen. We haven't seen my uncle since early March - I'm sad about that too as we would usually enjoy Sunday dinner with him every 2nd week. To keep him and the other residents safe - many of whom would be elderly - we're keeping our distance. With the restrictions, we have to make the best of things and keep intact as a family unit. This isn't easy - on our good days we can spend nearly two hours chatting after dinner - on our more difficult days - we retreat into our own spaces - at home and in our heads. I feel gratitude that we are fairly well-functioning family unit and that some relationships have improved within the family during this time. I think a lot about how it must be really hard in other families - I feel gratitude too that my mother and mother in law are safe at home and not in nursing homes. I would always have felt in the past that when I am older that I would be ok going to a nursing home - but my opinion now on that has completely changed. I cannot imagine the worry that others have with relatives living in institutions.

Q. 3 GROUPS

Technology has landed and the adaptation for the older generation has been immeasurable. I've started face time calling my mother and we had our first family zoom - sisters and mom meet up last week. While my children are adapting well with virtual meet ups. I have taken a step back away from listening to the so called experts and instead listen selectively to the radio and safe podcasts. I am in awe of those who are taking this time as an opportunity to do research and be proactive. I am endeavouring to make a contribution by becoming a volunteer with AWARE and also doing groceries and post office transactions for a neighbour who I never met or interacted with in the 20 years I have lived in my estate. I do think that as a society we are generally becoming kinder - however I am struck by those who are complaining and so critical of government and our institutions who are trying to manage through this unique situation

Q. 4 WAYS WE TALK

I think we are checking in with everyone - the greeting "stay safe" has become part of our daily discourse. We talk about the 'new normal' - the use of symbols like candles and empty Tesco delivery cartons outside houses signify how hope and gratitude and staying away from infection have become the new norm. To see people out and about talking while social distancing is the new normal but how strange it looks. To have to use hand sanitiser in shops is strange - watching others habits has become a heightened sport as we look for something to talk about or as we look to safeguard ourselves.

Q. 5 COMMUNITY RESPONSE

I am heartened to see how the GAA and Gardaí and the Post Office have become so influential in the community setting - in particular the Post Office which was a dying institution - I am saddened however to lose out on interactions - deliveries being left at the door and the delivery person almost running away - whereas previously the everyday chat was part and parcel of a delivery.

Q. 6 THOUGHTS AND PREOCCUPATIONS

Overwhelming gratitude and also sadness - about the lives and families impacted Concern about the future and our future lives - what lives we will live in the future and how we will live them - in particular the impact on small children whose social skills and development will have been impacted so much by this - will we ever hug again? How will this impact on human touch and connection?

Q. 7 SIMILARITY TO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE

No Response.

Q. 8 CHALLENGES AND COPING

No Response.

Q. 9 THE FUTURE

It has brought society together in some ways - we're all in this together but apart in others as we are living in cells without interaction with others. I fear for the future of education - socialization - the economic recovery - living in a changing world - health and wellbeing.

Q. 10 IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT SPRINGS TO MIND?

I have learned that the things I have taken so much for granted - being able to go into a coffee shop, have a hair-cut (!), a walk on the beach - can all disappear overnight - but that life still goes on.

Q. 11 IN A NUTSHELL

Through this experience I have learned the importance of self-care and wellbeing and the wellbeing of others. I have learned that we can do without all the frills and paid experiences of day to day living. I have learned the importance of gratitude and connection with others.

age

51-69

gender

Female